Challenges of Returning Reserve Soldiers

“Wow, so great you’re home, Aharon, now everything can go back to normal!” This sentence, and variations of it, have been said to me and countless other reserve soldiers over the last few months. Though well-meaning (and also an important injection of optimism and hope!), people’s wider networks are sometimes unaware of the challenges that returning reserve soldiers face. As a tank gunner having recently completed “Sevev Bet” (Round Two) of reserve duty, and also a clinical psychologist, I wanted to share some of the challenges that people face, to spread awareness amongst soldiers themselves and those around them.

Challenges of Returning from War

1. Exposure to Trauma and Mood Changes

Though post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is foremost in people’s minds, approximately 90% of those exposed to potentially traumatic events do not develop PTSD. Despite this, even those who don’t meet the formal criteria of PTSD can still struggle. Exposure to trauma and life-threatening situations can affect mood, increase impatience, vigilance, and more. Personally, I was shocked at how much lower my frustration tolerance had become, finding it difficult to stay calm in situations that previously had been “no big deal”. This was something that I encountered multiple times per day, whether with frustration at other drivers or when my children wouldn’t immediately do what I asked them. Being around crowds made me uncomfortable and overwhelmed, and I preferred quiet even more than usual. Learning mindfulness and grounding techniques, and setting time for them daily (as well as gratitude exercises) has personally helped me “reset” my nervous system a bit.

2. Loss of Social Network

Reserve duty, while challenging, comes with the benefit of a strong social network. Being part of a unit fosters intense relationships strengthened through 24/7 contact in intense situations. This "band of brothers" often provides a unique support system. Returning to civilian life can cause a sudden loss of this tight-knit network, which can be difficult to cope with. Compounding this issue is that existing friendships may offer less support, with soldiers feeling that those who weren’t there cannot truly understand. Some ways to potentially deal with these challenges include maintaining army friendships even with a return to civilian life, which can also serve to help bridge the gap between army and civilian life (discussed below). One of the most meaningful experiences I had in the months following the first stint was hosting my tank crew at our home: it felt like coming full circle being able to have my crewmates meet the family I’d told them so much about, and having my children greet those they’d gotten to know from pictures and stories. Community support can also be essential: many community initiatives have been incredible sources of support for soldiers and families during the reserve time period, but they are needed even after soldiers return.

3. Loss of Meaning

Serving in the army, especially in reserve duty, can be incredibly meaningful. This sense of purpose is felt not only intrinsically but also externally, sometimes making soldiers feel like minor celebrities when walking the streets. Losing this sense of heightened purpose can lead to a lower mood, reduced energy, and even disillusionment. For instance, while I was relieved to no longer carry around the weighty responsibility of a gun, a part of me missed that visible symbol of doing something important for everyone. On the other hand, the sea change of a return to civilian life often offers individuals and families a chance to reconsider their priorities: is there anything they would like to add to increase a sense of meaning and purpose in their day-to-day lives?

4. Life Problems We%27ve Pushed Off

During reserve duty, many personal and professional problems are legitimately pushed off. Loans, business issues, university commitments, and family matters are often delayed. Upon returning, these issues suddenly demand attention, often compounded by the time they%27ve been neglected. For example, small business owners may face accumulated debts and operational challenges, while family issues, like a child’s learning difficulties, require immediate attention.

5. Encountering Changes at Work and Home

Families and workplaces adapt to the absence of the soldier, learning to "get by" without them. Upon return, renegotiating roles can be difficult, coupled with processing a feeling of not being “needed”. This can create tension and require significant adjustment both at home and at work. A secondary effect of this, together with the loss of social network mentioned above, can sometimes lead to soldiers longing for a return to army life; many soldiers may then experience guilt or shame for this seemingly counterintuitive desire (“Aren’t you happy to be home already?”). It is essential for couples to work on communication together with finding opportunities for time together. Sometimes, speaking with a professional can be helpful in navigating this challenge. Additionally, thought should be given to ways that returning parents can find time with their children, either all together or one on one.

6. Sense of Split Between Army and Civilian Life

Reconciling the stark contrast between the army and civilian life is challenging. Soldiers go from dealing with life-threatening situations to mundane decisions like choosing a takeout restaurant. This disparity can create a sense of disconnection and difficulty in adjusting to everyday civilian concerns.

7. Simple vs. Complex Life

Army life, though intense, often focuses on very specific tasks and goals. In contrast, civilian life is more complex, involving multiple roles and responsibilities. Soldiers must navigate being a spouse, parent, employee, and community member simultaneously, which can be overwhelming after the structured and focused life in the army.

8. Different Communication Styles

In the army, communication is often direct and blunt, which is essential for clarity in high-stress situations. However, at home and work, different approaches are needed for effective communication: we may speak to our spouses one way, to each child in a different way depending on the situation, and to our friends in yet another way. Adapting to these different styles can be challenging and require conscious effort. I’ve found myself asking for a “redo” more than once: “Sorry, that was a bit of “Army Aharon/Abba” coming out. I’m sorry. Can I please say that again?”

Conclusion:

The return from reserve duty is a complex transition that involves addressing emotional, social, and practical challenges. By understanding and acknowledging these difficulties, we can better support our soldiers in their reintegration process, ensuring they receive the recognition and assistance they deserve. It is important to make time to deal with these issues, and for both soldiers and those around them to be given compassion to deal with this readjustment process.